SAY LESS KYLE
I talk too much, I need to always try and say much less. My mouth gets me in all sorts of trouble. I have said terrible things to very kind people. I have lied with my words. I have deceived with my words. I have picked on people with my words. I am very good and very powerful with the words that come out of my mouth. Its a weapon that I will always struggle with out to control.
I am always right, or at least I think I am always right. And I am not about to let someone even think they can prove me wrong. I don't care what it cost. Or I could just shut the fuck up. Be satisfied with the fact that I am alive and move on. But not me, I AM FUCKING RIGHT! About everything all the time. It makes the person I am talking to not want to be around me and makes me look like a psychopath. But don't worry. I am right.
What does me being right accomplish? Literally nothing. So if I can't talk about how I am always right. What should we talk about? The Weather? Sports? Movies? How about we talk about what I can actually do. I heard the saying, "you win debates through actions, not through argument". So what can I do with my actions to win debates. Well, I can listen to more music. I can ride my bike. I can get away from situations that I feel I need to be right. I can take a breath and not give myself the freedom to not have an opinion.
I like to walk away, roll a joint, put on headphones and not talk. Isolation is a super power. Being able to be content by myself opens a whole new world. Now being able to handle extreme isolation is hard, especially in this day and age of the phone always being there with instagram that has beautiful women showing their butts.
Peacefulness, stillness, having a calm mind. These are all things I have always struggled with, especially as an adult. I have had to train my mind to always come back to basic. Focus on my breathing, look at my surroundings in the immediate moment.
Depression is being upset about the past, anxiety is being upset about the future but peace is being satisfied in the present moment. There is always things that can be changed or improved in the here and now. I can read, I can write, do push ups, roll joints, listen to more music. Dwelling on the past or trying to guess the future is a perfect way to steal the peace we all want in the current moment.
Listen to more music. The beautiful thing about music is that it is endless. I can never run out of music to listen to. Anytime I think I have found the end of some genre, or have out listened to music, music proves me wrong. Whether it is finding some obscure punk band that I have never heard of, or a classical piece that is new to my ears or an album I completely forgot about that I loved when I was younger. Music is always there for everyone all the time.
Now a days with all the different streaming apps for music, it is a new world of unending possibilities. It's a great goal, to listen to more music today than I did yesterday. To be a music listening pioneer. I like finding new music that is right in my current listening mood but my favorite thing is when I can find music that pushes my interests. I new band or artist that is outside of my musical tastes at the moment.